Category: Living Abroad

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Happiness Ideas Mexico

The Small Gestures

A year ago I wrote my first post. It was called “Small Gestures” and centered around the idea that what most people reflect on from their pasts are not the big events but instead are the small gestures that make us human.

Here’s another story about small gestures. I teach a free English class for six students in the small Mexican town where I live. Depending on the season, the class is held in either a student’s patio on my street or a classroom several blocks away. Each Monday and Wednesday afternoon I have an easy stroll to class.

Jeffry, a retired teacher who lives about half an hour away, asked if he could teach a third class. We both thought the more exposure to English the better, so I offered it to my class for a vote. They were keen for another class and, in April, Jeffry started teaching a third class on Tuesday afternoons.

I don’t see Jeffry often; so it was good to catch up with him during a party he had. At some point, we started talking about our class. He and I don’t confer about what each other is teaching because we have different styles, which we both agree is actually better for keeping the students’ interest level up.

Our little discussion soon turned to student attendance. It’s pretty good, especially for Mexico where such things are looser. We also talked about the diverse backgrounds of our students, teens to middle-aged, housekeeper to dentist, and which students always come to class.

Then Jeffry told me, “You know what really makes teaching this class rewarding for me? After every class Mati comes to me and says she knows I drive over from the neighboring town just to teach the class and she really appreciates my effort. That’s what makes it worthwhile to me.”

It’s usually the small human gestures that make memories.

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Ideas Living Abroad Mexico

Back to School

 

In Mexico, I’m an outsider looking in. I could be off the mark, but I don’t think I’m too far off in regards to most of the public education I see where I’m living.

Generally the school system in Mexico seems to be more about order and control than about learning. The school days are short and regimented with an emphasis on uniforms. It doesn’t seem conducive to learning many things other than compliance. If you’re a top student you “get to” wear a  uniform different from the rest of the class, which for a poorer family is just another burden. The original mission of the nonprofit in our town was/is securing dough for kids who need it to afford (uniforms, lunch money, shoes…) to go to public school; just because there’s a public school here doesn’t mean everyone can afford to go.

I had dinner the other night with some friends. A Mexican couple told me about their homeschooling plans for their two young sons and kids of other families. They want to allow the kids to have a less stressful learning environment and to start later in the morning so they’ll be more alert. Their kids will also be learning at their own pace in a class with mixed ages. Their plans are very progressive and not at all like what’s on offer in the public school.

I told them what they want to do sounds like the schools in Finland, the most successful in the world. And maybe they’d like to use the Khan Academy, it’s free, simple and really turning things around in on-line education. Bill Gates and a bunch of other big hitters are now getting behind the Khan Academy. It’s been featured on TED Talks, Charlie Rose, and OnPoint to name a few if you’re interested to find out more.

I think my friends will be able to do a good job teaching their kids. I’ll check back with them in nine months for a progress report and let you know.

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Ideas Mexico

Bad Situations

On the 4th of July my nephew went to a party in DC, where he’s working for the summer. He was walking with his girlfriend after the party when someone grabbed her phone and ran off. My nephew chased him, and got into a fight with him when he caught him.

Unfortunately, there were some friends of the robber’s nearby who jumped into the fight. Fortunately, someone driving by called the cops and helped break up the fight. My nephew received a beating that required fairly extensive dental and other medical attention. But he was back at work after a couple of weeks and back to his normal good-humored self. Two ideas came to mind after I heard about what happened.

One is the irony of  how dangerous life in the US can be sometimes. The trumpeting by the US media about violence in Mexico seems to take some of the focus away from the potential for violence that’s in the States. While generally safe, the US can be like Mexico if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The other thing I’m reminded of is the importance of letting go of a cell phone or wallet if you’re robbed, things aren’t worth your health. Here’re a few more possibly useful tips. Obscurity is your best security; try not to stand out. Pay attention and listen to your intuition; if a situation feels wrong it could be, our unconscious awareness has been around for millennia protecting us from predators. If confronted, always run away, you can never know who or how many you’re up against. But if it comes down to a confrontation you can’t avoid, you need to attack the attacker as violently as you can and run off. Stun and run.

 

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Ideas Mexico Trends

Under Armor for Dogs

Summertime is here; and where we live that means almost daily thunderstorms. On the Pacific coast of Mexico there are only two seasons, wet and dry. The dry season is completely dry and the wet season that goes from July though October is really wet.

A couple of days ago we went to an afternoon birthday party at a friend’s house. I walked there, taking my umbrella since afternoon is usually when the day’s rain starts. When I arrived the owner’s two dogs both had on what looked like jackets. Each dog is probably 60ish pounds, way too big to costume the way some people do to their small dogs (who can’t protest the indignity). So then I assumed they had on protective diapers. Maybe both were in heat at the same time, like nuns in a convent.

As I got closer, I saw they were wearing matching gray jackets. The owner said they were dog compression jackets that squeeze the dogs enough to feel comforted and so don’t get spooked by thunder. The “thunder jackets” were only a couple of days old but had worked as advertised so far; our friend said now before a storm, the dogs even go to the shelf where their jackets are kept, ready to be comforted through the upcoming thunderstorm.

The jackets are also called Anxiety Wraps and it looks like they’ve been around since 2001. But I don’t know why they aren’t called “anti-anxiety wraps,” because they’re used as sort of doggie downers to get rid of anxiety.

It’s like the Under Armor brand of compression sport clothes people wear to ward off the fatigue of playing their sport or even drinking beer in front of the TV. You see the Under Armor brand all over the place nowadays. If you live in a thunderstorm area you may just start to see more dogs sporting Thunder Jackets.

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Mexico

Another View of Mexico

Mexico can be safe. We just returned from a long weekend trip to Guanajuato, a once flourishing colonial mining town that’s now a flourishing university and tourist town. It’s in the center of Mexico, about two hundred miles away from Mexico City. My girlfriend’s aunt and uncle are in Guanajuato for a month because her aunt is taking international law classes at the law school there.

We all had a great time. Guanajuato is like a town in Southern Europe; it has small and large plazas sprinkled across the town. Even on weekday nights, the plazas we walked through were full of people visiting with each other, dining, and enjoying music. We walked all over the city during the day and night and felt very safe. It’s a very tranquil place.

Everything we enjoyed was in stark contrast to what’s in the collective American imagination when thinking of Mexico. The US media has hammered home the horrific violence of the drug cartels that’s mostly between cartels or some government employees. To be sure it’s a problem; but it certainly isn’t in most places an American visitor might go in Mexico.

To illustrate the effect the media has in the States, look at the Canadians. In my experience lately, Canadian visitors to Mexico far outnumber the US visitors. Maybe the Canadian economy is a bit better but I suspect it’s the impact of the media in each country. The US population is over 300 million while Canada’s is about 35 million so you might think there’d be more American than Canadian visitors to a country to the South with easy access. I’ve asked a few Canadians about the number disparity I’ve noticed and they agree that what’s presented on the news in Canada is less alarmist than what they happen to see in US media.

Anyway, don’t be overly concerned about traveling to Mexico. If you want to get away from your countrymen for a bit, there’re good places to visit in Mexico with not a lot of gringos.

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Living Abroad People

Faded Genes

I used to surf with a  Peruvian guy, here in Mexico. We got along well and had some fun surf sessions. Eventually, he had to leave Mexico and return to Peru. I never knew his last name, and now I wish that I knew it.

There’s been some upwelling of family information due to the recent death of an aunt.

It seems that a few generations ago a Peruvian man named Senor Paredes moved to the US and settled in New Orleans. As sometimes happens with immigrants wishing to blend in, he changed his name to Mr. Walls, which is what Senor Paredes means in English.

The newly minted Mr. Walls married and had a girl they named Beulah.

Beulah Walls married a man named Rene Stocker and had a son named Clyde.

Clyde Stocker married a woman named Gayle Jaubert and together they had three girls. One of those girls had me. And she named me Stocker Cary, giving me Stocker as a first name because she had no brothers to carry the Stocker name forward.

When I was a kid I can remember my Dad teasing my Mom about being from South America and I thought it was because she had black hair. I never had an idea my great-great grandfather was from Peru. But I like it. Especially as I now live in a Latin country.

The other day I was telling this story to a Mexican woman I know and she made a surprised face – her last name is Paredes. Small world.

Now I just wish I knew the last name of my surf friend from Peru. He may be family too.

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Health Living Abroad Mexico

Magico Mexico

Our street in Mexico is only a block long. It seems a fairly normal little residential street. But there’s lots happening. On one end of our block is a laundry and there’s a tortilla shop on the other end. Two doors from the laundry is a nice small hotel. If you go around the other corner you’ll find a grocery store, surf shop, and hair salon that also sells musical instruments. Not to mention there’s a Mexican traditional healer and someone selling shrimp who both live in the middle of our block. Three houses away from mine is a guy who’ll climb up your palm tree and harvest the coconuts.

Guess what else? This weekend I found out a young dentist just opened up shop on our block at the end of the healer’s driveway.

Saturday night my girlfriend slipped and fell. The fall didn’t look too bad – until I saw a tooth skitter across the floor. I picked it up and realized it was one of her front teeth. Luckily a friend was with us who is a dental assistant. We got my girlfriend up, into the bathroom, and slid the tooth back into its rightful spot within 30 seconds. While putting the tooth back, we saw that three of the neighboring teeth were half of their length and loose; the shiny tile floor that she hit was hard.

Enter the new dentist on the block. We had no idea he was tucked in across the street. But our friend had just started working with him doing volunteer dental work on school kids in town. She woke him up and he worked on the damaged teeth for two and a half hours (’til 3 am).

It was a neighborhood affair really. Our bilingual friend from the laundry and his friend came in, providing exact translations. I did some assisting and moral support. Our dental assistant friend and her husband were there for encouragement and technical advice. And to top it off the dentist’s mom, who’s a nurse, came in at 2:30 am to supply and administer two non dental injections, after the teeth were stabilized.

The care and attention continues from more and more people each day. The final work will probably be done by a cosmetic dentist in Puerto Vallarta. The bad news is four damaged teeth that’ll be fixed . The good news is all the great people around us in Mexico.

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Mexico Travel

Visiting Mexico City


Here’s a beautiful Mexico City Video that’s worth a view, even just for its the style alone. We just returned from a five-day trip to Mexico City and had a great time there.  I know about all the bad things that are happening in parts of Mexico and those things seem to be all that’s reported on in the media. But there’re lots of areas in Mexico, most areas, that continue on in their regular fashion.

I’d like to report that we felt completely safe the whole time we were in Mexico City. It’s  one of the largest cities in the world. Around 20 million people. And in the course of five days we ate, rubbernecked, and shopped our way through as much of the city as we could. We visited museums, walked through parks, traveled by subway and taxi as well as rode bikes a lot. Parts of Mexico City have an ecobici system that, every few blocks, allows you to borrow a bike and return it to the station nearest your destination. We also walked through huge open markets and public squares. No problems. The vibe was much less intense than New York City, much more like a large European city.

There are all sorts of contrasts in Mexico City. The old, quiet cobblestone and brick neighborhood where Cortez lived until 1524 contrasts with a modern skyscraper heavy, downtown area packed with sculptures. You’ll also find “the great square”, or Zocalo, which has been the center of the city since Aztec times, surrounded by micro businesses so plentiful I felt as if I was looking at a coral reef for humans, no space unused or need unmet. There’re street sweepers answering their cell phones while still using brooms that look like they’re made by whomever it is that makes brooms for witches. You know, a long handle with a bundle of long switches tied to one end. And Mexico City as you’d guess, is teeming with food options, escamoles (ant eggs) and chapulinas (fried grasshoppers) at small busy stalls in markets to haute cuisine in historic buildings.

We traveled around the city at different times of the day any the night and never felt worried or threatened. There’re cops around, but just what I feel is probably the normal amount for a big city, not an overwhelming presence, just enough to feel safe without feeling overly protected.

On a side note, you won’t see men in Mexico City wearing short pants. So I think out of cultural respect and to not stand out, don’t even take short pants with you if you visit. The more you blend in, the less likely you’ll be noticed. Probably ditto for backpacks, fanny packs and cameras.

Anyway, don’t be worried about visiting  most parts of Mexico any more than you’d be worried about  visiting anywhere else. It’s safe.

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Living Abroad Mexico Things

The Kindle Has Landed

The Kindle has landed in Mexico! Mine has at least. It’s a late Christmas present from my girlfriend. She probably got tired of me talking about planning to get one. Some recent visitors from the States brought it down; a nice surprise. And it works really well here. I thought I should cover this now that I’m using it and before we get too far from Christmas.

Now I can read any book that’s available in a Kindle version as soon as I’d like to. Before my Kindle showed up, acquiring a new book was a slow process, depending on friends and luck. I had three choices. I might, by luck, stumble across something I was interested in that someone else was finished with, ask a visitor to bring it down, or look for a book myself in the States when I happened to go up there. But a fourth and best option arrived just after Christmas. I can connect to any wireless network here in Mexico and buy a book in about a minute.

There’s another feature that’s useful too. I can read the first couple of chapters for free from any book that’s available to a Kindle. This saves time and money for me. Currently, I’m reading two books that I bought after previewing five book’s first chapters. This is a nice feature to have when there isn’t a bookstore anywhere in my area.

I know you can read books on iPads and computers, but I think the Kindle has a couple of advantages. One is the size, the Kindle is small and very light making it easier to deal with (easier than a printed book too). The other advantage of the kindle is sort of counterintuitive and that is that the Kindle is only a reader. So when you’re using a Kindle you don’t have the distraction option of email and web surfing. Sort of less is more.

Speaking of less, I don’t like to have lots of stuff. So I generally give books away after I’ve read them. With the Kindle there’s a reduction in the number of books laying around and those books I want to keep are in one tidy package. On the next trip I take, I’ll be able to take all of my books with me too.

And that’s not all. I also received a cover that protects the Kindle. Plus the cover comes equipped with a cool little retractable LED light, built-in, so I can give my headlamp a rest.

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Clutter Food Living Abroad Mexico Stories

La Tienda

La Tienda means “the store” in Spanish. In Mexico, la tienda is usually a small neighborhood store that sells most of the things people need. There’s still one every few blocks in Mexico just as there were a generation ago in most cities and towns in the States.

When I was a kid growing up in New Orleans our tienda was Saladino’s just a couple of blocks from our house. It was snuffed out by mass culture before I made it into middle school. We used to buy candy there just like I see kids doing at tiendas here in Mexico. Those kids I see now probably won’t appreciate their little neighborhood tienda either until they’re older and it’s gone.

I love going to tiendas, just looking around at the wide range of objects for sale that have made it through a Darwinian “survival of the fittest” economic sieve. You find mostly grocery items; but tucked away in there you’ll see super glue, hanks of nylon cord, hair dyes, mesh shopping bags, medicines, and on and on. And it’s all shoehorned into a space the size of a McMansion’s bedroom.

Tiendas service a customer base small enough that you can still get store credit. Your tab is handwritten in a notebook; they know who you are and where you live.

My tienda is about a block from our house. It’s called El Indio, The Indian. More often tiendas are named after the owner with the English words “Super Mini” in front of the name. So it’s no surprise El Indio is usually referred to by the first name of the owner (Leo’s) by most of it’s customers.

Leo’s is open early and closes around 11 at night. If you hit it at the wrong time, checking out is like traffic in India, crazy and chaotic but some how it flows with stops and starts. Often, you’ll need to jockey for position at the checkout between a sweaty laborer buying ice cold Pacificos after work and a wobbly grandmother buying fresh cilantro for her familys’ dinner. It’s civil, but the Summer in Central Mexico in a tienda is a toasty place to be and most shoppers are keen to get somewhere cooler.

Because a tienda is usually close to your house it functions almost like a pantry – that’s a block away. You don’t really need to keep lots of supplies at home since whatever you might run out of is only  half minute away. So you wind up going to the tienda on almost a daily basis.

Which is fine by me.