She may not always love me the way I want her to, but she’s loving me the best she knows how.
When you say “I feel that this action was inconsiderate” the other person can’t say you don’t feel that way.
The problem is you’re thinking rationally when dealing with somebody who’s irrational.
You’re responsible for your actions, not others’ reactions.
Every time you resist feeling an emotion it goes down to the basement to lift weights.
Other people having it worse does not make your pain any less real, someone else’s broken ankle doesn’t mean yours isn’t sprained.
If you can imagine the worst thing, you can imagine the best thing. Both things are imaginary. Say the positive outcome out loud and repeat it until it feels more real.
Don’t attempt to understand why a dysfunctional person does what they do. Dysfunction has no logic behind it.
Relationships are as subject to the sunk cost fallacy as anything else. They shouldn’t be held onto at all costs simply because they’re long standing. No matter how good it once was or for how long, if it’s not serving you any more (or has become toxic) it’s okay to end it.
Don’t compare yourself to other people or compare yourself to fantasy versions of how your life would’ve turned out had you made a different choice. That’s the most dangerous mind game of all.
Thoughts aren’t facts.
Tell people when they upset you instead of hoping they will notice your changed behavior towards them.
Listen to what people say but watch what they do.
For intrusive thoughts and rumination: schedule a short daily time to allow it, and when the thought comes into your head just put it off until that time. Eventually you may forget to do your daily ruminating and it just passes.
Stop expecting something someone does not have to give.
Ask why people do and say things, instead of assuming you know why. You never know what someone is thinking until you ask them. Save yourself the effort of mindreading (misreading) and ask.