The Right Feeling

cats and dogsWe all like being right. But what’s the cost when you badger someone to prove you’re right?

It feels good to be right, but how does it leave the other person feeling. I’ve noticed people will probably forget what you said and likewise for what you did. But they always seem to remember how you made them feel.

Remember the “Sisskel and Ebert” TV show reviewing movies? Each guy really tried hard to be right, over and above trying to just review a movie. The feelings each was left with and remembered prevented them from ever being the friends you’d have expected them to be off stage.

If you’ve made someone feel bad while you were striving to be right that feeling is what they recall long afterwards.

The situation is similar to adults wishing their parents had spent more time with them as kids. It’s a feeling that’s stuck with them. And probably why we hear the child-rearing advice of spending twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

Instead, try being enthusiastic instead of worrying about being right. Enthusiasm is infectious and fun. Fun wins and creates a better memory for the other person.

I guess that if you’re right, you’ll still be right even though you haven’t convinced someone else. So don’t worry so much about convincing someone else you’re right. The more you aim at being right to someone else, the more you are going to miss it.

Over time you’ll come out ahead by not bashing someone else to get your point across.  Make friends, because things don’t make things happen, people do.