No Place To Go

bettyI’m posting this now instead of on April 1st, because it’s such strange news that I couldn’t wait.

It seems the once often encountered common louse isn’t encountered so often anymore. Now listed as endangered, maybe the name should be changed to the uncommon louse.

The common louse’s population decline is linked to the rise in popularity, worldwide, of the Brazilian bikini wax and it’s resulting “scorched earth” skin surface with nowhere for lice to live.

A “Brazilian waxing” wipes out the native environment for the common louse. Even though only the female half of adult humans indulge in this type of waxing, that’s all it’s taken to threaten this fellow inhabitant of our natural world, despite the group of promiscuous male human carriers doing their (unintentional) best to carry these fellow travelers into the bush as it were. There’s just “no there” there most of the time nowadays.

In an attempt to act before it’s too late for the common louse, the CDC is lobbying to stop “Brazilians” from being administered to women under the age of 45 in an attempt at curbing the demise of  lice.

A public awareness campaign is also under way to compliment the restriction. The campaign stresses that copying the “Brazilian look” by shaving is just as detrimental to the once lush habitats for the common louse. The “bush is back” public campaign will target the porn industry hoping these trend-setters in this realm can have some influence on their viewers before the common louse goes the way of the carrier pigeon and other species that have been collateral damage from unfortunate human encounters.

Research is also being conducted to find other mammals that might make acceptable hosts for this annoying but not dangerous little hitchhiker.

Now I need to research for something else to write about for April 1st.